For a Smart Girl

"For a smart girl you're pretty good at stupid."
 -Georgia Rule


Dear smart girl,


Do not let yourself fall from the morals you once believed in. Love is still possible but you won't find it in anyone's bed. Love begins in coffee shops, parks, class, bakeries, restaurants, movie theaters, fields, churches, anywhere you can imagine. But you wont find it by giving yourself away. You deserve so much more that that; you deserve someone to care for you, cherish you, believe in you, and love you. You deserve someone who tells you that you are beautiful and makes you feel so. You deserve someone who truly admires you and would do anything for you. Believe that finding him is still possible. It may not seem so right now but you must have faith that God will bring him to you. You deserve nothing less.
Maybe you feel like you need hookups to feel wanted or alive but how does it really make you feel afterward? Used and alone. It's just like alcohol, you feel great when you're drunk but the next morning is miserable. And what are the benefits of excessively drinking alcohol? Memory loss, bad decisions, regret, and a bad liver.
Have fun, just be careful. You are so beautiful, do not lose sight of that.


Sincerely,
also very good at stupid






"Don't you dare, for one more second, surround yourself with people who are not aware of the greatness that you are."
Jo Blackwell-Preston

Why Don't We Just Dance

The thoughts of summer three days away has me bouncing off the walls and pushing through the stress of finals. I've been listening to summer-y country music all day and I can't help but want to dance. Three more days, two more finals, and then I'll be free to enjoy the sun, pool, and friends.

I was listening to Why Don't We Just Dance by Josh Turner earlier and I couldn't help but think that everyone is all too serious. We're in college, this is our last hurrah of fun before the realities of the real world hit. Yes, it requires some sort of determination and focus but there's no need to let it affect your mood so much you can't have fun. It's almost summer time. Even if you have summer school, or an internship, or a job to do this summer, ENJOY IT. Laugh, dance, joke, smile, play, flirt, drink, go crazy.

All too often we rely on another person to give us happiness. Yes they can add to your own happiness but you won't be truly happy with someone until you can be happy alone doing your own thing first. You can't be loved until you love yourself, it's true. Enjoy yourself, you don't have to find someone to spend the rest of your life with right now. Don't make it a goal- just let it happen.

Be Bold.
Flirt with that guy/girl you've had your eye on all semester.
Sing karaoke at a bar.
Complement a stranger.
Do something daring and don't regret it.
Walk with your head high.
Learn how to breakdance.
Jump in puddles on a rainy day.
Ignore what people say about you.
Dance with a stranger.
Take a spontaneous roadtrip.
Wear that bikini you've been afraid to put on all semester with pride.
Be you.

It's amazing how much happier you'll be.

dreams that haunt me and taunt me

I wrote this a week ago when I couldn't sleep and I was feeling down. But I was too afraid to post it for fear of everyones reaction. Regardless, I think it needs to be said so here it is:

"When you try to move on to someone else when a relationship is over you still have that feeling about someone that you can't really get rid of."


I finally realized that I'm not going to be okay, and relationship-ready, for a very long time. I can try and distract myself by dating around and having fun, but I won't be the same loving girl, ready to open up for a while. Knowing that sucks just as much as the feeling itself.

I still cry sometimes at night, the pain is still there. Sometimes it goes away for a long time, but it always seems to catch up with me when I least expect it. I'm not going to be okay for a while, and I've accepted that. I guess that's the first step.
So much has changed in the last 85 days. My emotions have been like a long roller coaster ride. Some weeks I'm at the top of an incline, ready for the rush of the downfall and the wind in my hair. Some days are like the dark tunnels, blind and scary. And then some days are like the end of the ride, suddenly sad and lonely.

I forgot what being single feels like and how much (most) guys suck. I just keep seeing my friends get played over and over and I fear that I won't be able to find someone worth my love again. Maybe that's looking too ahead but I don't think I can handle another heartbreak.

"Too afraid to go inside

for the pain of one more loveless night

for the loneliness will stay with me

and hold me till I fall asleep"

[The Lonely by Christina Perri]

I'm so glad that you're happy again and doing your own thing. It hurts to hear that (I know, I did the same thing to you not long ago- now I understand) but it's all I could ask for.

the newest creation inspired by Adele