A Post for My Dad

So I'm a little behind on Father's Day, but the sentiment is the same.

I never really realized how much of an impact my father has made on my life until recently. I'm his little girl, and I always will be. I'll always remember him calling me his angel and sitting on his knee- my favorite place in the world.

Our relationship is a little unspoken now that I'm an adult, but it still is just as important. I still treasure our time together, although now it's early in the morning drinking coffee in our backyard instead of camping at Palo Duro Canyon on a frigid weekend.

I don't say it enough, but my Dad has an extremely special place in my heart.

I pray I marry a man that is half the dad that he is to me.
He'll always be my number one man.

:)

My mind it kind of goes fast

The past two weeks have been a little rough for me.

For absolutely no particular reason. I have nothing big to worry about. But it never fails, every night I have a nightmare, bad dream, or series of bad dreams. I'm grinding my teeth and whimpering like a hurt puppy.

I don't even know what triggered this.

Maybe seeing my best friend get married to the most wonderful man flipped a switch in my head. I know I'm only 22. I know I'm being ridiculous. I'm just not where I thought I would be, now.

If you asked me 2 years ago where I'd be now, I would have said that I'd be engaged to Rob, graduated, and working at some lab to make money for my future with him.

I never guessed I'd be here.
I'm not saying it's a bad thing.
It's just not where I always imagined I'd be.

I like to plan, I like to know. So this whole not-knowing business drives me absolutely crazy.

I just need to look on the bright side. Now I can travel, go on adventures, explore the world. Maybe I'll end up opening a bakery like I've dreamed. Maybe I'll move to NYC.
Maybe.

We'll see where this year takes me.

Relapse.

Why must you infiltrate my @#$!^%* dreams again?













elaboration to come.

GLBT? Fine by Me

The homophobia in this town astonishes me.
I can't even.

I'm literally shaking and my heart is pounding thinking about the wonderful people I know that are mistreated just because of their sexual orientation.
THAT IS THEIR BUSINESS
they are still normal human beings.

Actually, they're stronger than I could ever be.
They face adversity every. single. day. And they still shine brighter than the sun.

so shame on you.
shame.


And all 'christians' that persecute the gay community just break my heart.
I thought God taught us to love all people. And not to judge, because that's his job in the end
Do you hate divorcees?
Because from your point of view, saying that being gay is a sin, no one else should be allowed in the church because of the sinful lives we all live. And if you've forgotten, God says that all sins are equal, no one is greater than the other.


“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."
Matthew 7:1-5




I rest my case.

Wanderlust

wan·der·lust/ˈwändərˌləst/

Noun:

A strong desire to travel

I am passionately consumed by wanderlust.

I have an odd combination of personalities/ persons I identify with.
  The Texan in me loves country music, two-stepping, carport parties
  The city girl in me loves downtown, crowded places, busy bodies
  The indie in me loves Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, Ray Bans, skinny jeans, Chuck Taylors
  The adventure in me loves camping, s'mores, hiking, repelling, nature

And the adventure is screaming to escape.
To take two weeks and backpack across the country
to drive from the east coast to the west coast
to say 'screw society' and live in the woods.


Graduation trip, maybe?

The Truth

"Women want to be treated like shit. It's just a fact, they're morons. Whether she's a super model, works at a daycare center, ugly, hot, it don't matter. You all look for the guy that pisses you off. The guy you can complain about trying to fix. Want to know the number one complaint I hear about men from women? 'He's too nice.' This is considered a detriment. Show me some girl that can date any guy she wants, 50 bucks says she's with some ass hole. You don't want nice, you want an ass hole... Ever hear of a guy breaking up with a girl because she's too nice?"

I'll admit it, it's true. Why?


But honestly, I think once a girl finds someone they truly love, that changes.
in the mean time, the ass holes will finish first.

But don't worry, the good guy wins in the end.

A Breathing Room for the Spirit

"Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time."
-Thomas Merton

The past year I've found perfect release in painting. I surely am not an artist but painting allows me to express what I'm feeling without truly even knowing, myself, what that is. When I have an overwhelming weight on my heart, I paint it out. These are the few pieces I've done that I'm proud enough of to share. They may not be beautiful, but they have so much meaning.
Yes, all are painted on scrap cardboard.

Inspiration: Swim by Jack's Mannequin

Jump.

The color gradient here is my absolute favorite. Each color has a specific meaning, especially the silver and gold highlighting the top and bottom, respectively. 

I was just exploring textures here. Not quite sure what I was even going for

What I'm currently working on (I'm actually letting the blue dry as I'm writing this). I'm really excited to see what it'll turn into. I was so upset last night that I said 'screw the brushes, I'm using my hands' and now I don't think I'll ever paint with a brush again. 

Just something fun I did as part of the decorations for Samantha's bachelorette party.